Canoeing in McDonalds

Terrance Gavan

Ohmy! McDonalds under water.

Now can we getta' big what what for the best argument against fast food that we've seen in a long time.

Pulmonary Thromosis? Quadruple Bypass? Kidney failure?

Shove this up your big fat petunia Ronald McDonald!

Tweet from my buddy Doug Coupland who says watch it without the annoying sound track.

Oh and Let's go Jets today by golly!!

Is Rex Ryan in mourning after watching this?

Love the Gav

Lovely Rebuke of a pretentious Law Firm

Boston legal comes to Cleveland
First! We do away with the lawyers -- That's Shakespeare yáll!
By terrance Gavan
Deadspin dug these gems from the vault.
The first is a letter from a law firm in Cleveland asking for refund for loathsome team.
The second is the Cleveland Browns reply.
Which is priceless and kinda'charming.

And here's the succinct reply!

Wesley Welker has fun with Sexy Rexy's Foot in Mouth

New England Pedant pedal patois.

By terrance Gavan

It's not really that funny as the references are a little de rigueur and Welker's deadpan delivery does not rev up the funny foot or bone.

Nothing that Sexy Ryan and his wife can't handle.

If this was a soccer controversy we could get great mileage from Footy references.

As it is Wes Weloker should leave the stand up to Tom Brady.

Just because - it doesn't happen much anymore

By Terrance Gavan

Used to happen ... but sadly doesn't anymore.

Darryl Dawkins anyone?

I forgot ... I'm old, old, old.

This happened in Brazil ... where despite a rumbling economy .. they can't afford decent backboards or breakaway rims.

Enjoy!

Why I don't drink anymore

BY Terrance Gavan

I have no idea who this guy is. Deadspin says he's a millionaire.

Anyway the guy is short and obnoxious.

And sadly it could have been me 15 years ago.

March 20, 1998 I realized I was allergic to alcohol.

One Tequila and I used to turn into this guy.

Crazy as Batshit You Tuber of da' week.

God help all the stupid drunks.

I'd say there was a solution but ??? this guy?? hmmm.

Related articles

• Deadspin takes on SI (pittsburgh.metblogs.com)
• Rex And Michelle Ryan At The Eye (And Feet) Of Another Deadspin Storm (sbnation.com)

Cherry V Ovechkin - Alex Stays - Cherry Goes Reprinted Voice

“The Washington Capitals’ Alex Ovechkin celebrated his 50th goal by putting his stick on the ice and then mimed warming his hands over it. Some observers called it hot-dogging; when Alex was a toddler in the Soviet Union it was called central heating.” — Comedian Torben Rolfsen, on the Web site of Vancouver’s The Province.

Alex Ovechkin’s Hot Celebration Leaves Pundits Fuming
The Burning Stick Routine Looked Good from here
By Terrance Gavan - Reprinted from County Voice arhives
Let’s get one thing straight.
Alex Ovechkin isn’t trying to rekindle the Cold War.
He hasn’t invaded Czechoslovakia.
He hasn’t moved any strategic missiles into Cuba.
And he has not, as far as I am aware, popped poison from an umbrella tip into any rogue secret agents.
So far he has no ties extant to the Russian mob.
He’s a young Russian hockey player.
He obviously loves playing the game.
He brings exuberance, excitement and a certain joie de vivre to this game.
Maybe we should just leave the kid alone.
Maybe the pundits, like Michael Farber (Sports Illustrated, TSN’s The Reporters) and Toronto Star’s Damien Cox, and yes, maybe even Don Cherry should just cut him some slack.
The three guys above, who all get paid a King’s ransom for popping off like popinjays at all things hockey, have taken fulsome swings at young Alex the Great for his on-ice celebrations.
Last Sunday on TSN’s The Reporters both Farber and Cox slavered loopily on about Ovechkin’s inappropriate celebration after scoring his 50th goal of the season.
For those of you who haven’t had a chance to see it during the 2,134 replays on TSN, it involves young Alex dropping his stick as if it’s too hot handle, and then warming his hands over the presumed flickering flames on the titanium shaft.

Hypochondria and my dog Billie Jean

This is not Billie Jean. But it's funny as hell!

Victimized again by Rev. Donald Francis Gavan
By Terry Gavan
I am a confirmed hypochondriac.
I blame it on my upbringing and I pin it specifically on my uncle, the Reverend Donald Francis Gavan.
Gav was wildly cognizant of every working part of his slowly discombobulating body.
A chronic worrier.
A serial hypochondriac.
Now the medical definition of the disease states that:
“A person who has hypochondriasis, a disorder characterized by a preoccupation with body functions and the interpretation of normal body sensations (such as sweating) or minor abnormalities (such as minor aches and pains) as portending problems of major medical moment. Reassurance by physicians and others only serves to increase the hypochondriac's persistent anxiety about their health.”
The Reverend Donald Francis never actually took these minor complaints to his doctor.
He did however bring it constantly and continuously to his rather large extended family in Ottawa.
He was a constant presence at Saturday and Sunday Gavan family dinners.
His own hypochondria was enormously and prodigiously enlarged when confronted by other people’s maladies.
He was a “hypochondriac chart topper” taking extravagant and almost Rambo-like zeal in medical one-upmanship 
If you had a cold … Uncle Don had the Asian Flu.

Tuckin’ sweepin’ and shootin’ in Beausejour Manitoba



Young Kris Kirkness knocked our Ehinger foursome out
of the Beausejour Manitoba Classic. He's 85 pounds of dy-no-mite!


Beaten by a Baby-Faced Assassin
By Terry Gavan
Beausejour – The wind was whipping off the tarmac at about 57 mph when I stepped off the plane at Winnipeg International Airport last Friday.

It was, I think, -22 without the wind, and in Winnipeg, they don’t do wind chills on days like that. Why bother. Freakin’ cold is just freakin’ cold. We don’t need frugal embellishments.

“It’s cold in the city today, with the wind out of the Northwest gusting to 60 and… good news. The temperatures are rising,” says the CJOB radio announcer. “High today of -20 and that cold snap that’s been with us for the past week is finally over. The sun is shining and it’s a glorious day Winnipeg!”

I looked over at my ride, Winnipeg Free Press Weeklies Editor John Kendle, and said: “Is he being ironic?”

“Nope,” laughed Kendle. “It was -30 all week, you lucked out.”

Luckier yet, I was headed kinda’ south to Beausejour, about 45 minutes from Portage and Main.

I arrived in the Beau just in time for our first draw in the Beausejour Men’s Curling Crunch at 7 pm Friday night.