Image via WikipediaPardon my Camera - eruption?
By Terrance Gavan
I said what I thought she wanted to hear.
“Absolutely no booze ma’am,” I replied, smiling my frosted butt off.
“What the hell is that?” she said, scowling at my camera.
“That’s a Canon camera, ma’am,” I said, still grinning, but now acutely aware that booze or no booze, she was not a happy camper.
“How big is that thing on the front of it,” she queried, face rigid as granite.
“What thing is that ma’am?” I asked.
“Take it out and I’ll show you what damn thing,” she said.
I took out my camera with the long zoom lens.
“There, smart ass, the long white thing … what is it?”
Now she was glaring and I suddenly felt a looming presence over my left shoulder.
One of Edmonton’s finest, dressed in yellow, and riding a snazzy looking Cannondale mountain bike, saw the smoke sifting from the top of my bag checker’s noodle and decided to stop by for a closer look.
“Answer the question son,” said the friendly cop.
“That ma’am is my Canon 70-200, f4 zoom lens,” I said.
“It’s too big,” she said.
“The camera?” I ventured.
“The camera, the camera, and that long white thing … it’s too damn big,” she said glancing up at the cop, who was now smiling.
“What should I do?” I asked.
“Well, you absolutely can’t take that thing out of your bag when you get to your seat,” she said.
And I must have been smiling. Because she took a new tack, no doubt chagrined at my rather cavalier attitude.
“You just try to take that thing out,” she said. “We’ve got security cameras all over this stadium and if they see you with that camera they’ll come and take it away.”
“The camera?” I said. “You’ll take my camera away ma’am?”
“No not me,” she said. “One of our security guys. They’re big. They’ll come to your seat, take your camera and you’ll never see it again. And quit calling me ma’am … it’s irritating.”
“Is that true officer?” I said to the cop, who was chuckling and making a move to get back on his bike.
“Oh, I could see it being a little irritating,” said the cop.
